I don't remember if I've always been a fan of green stuff. I can remember a time that I ate only Egg McMuffins (college) and a time when I ate a lot of Hamburger Helper (someone needs to make a horror movie with that little hand thing) and London broil (age whatever to 18). Given my druthers, I'd probably sit down to a bowl of homemade mac n cheese every day -- though now I like it weaponized, and with cauliflower -- so maybe that means I'm not secretly still two years old, culinarily speaking.
I don't come from a collards-eating culture. My parents, the son and daughter of German and Scots-Irish immigrants, grew up in northwest Pennsylvania. They understood sausage and pot roast and hamburger. Vegetables were carrots, peas, potatoes. Onions as a garnish. No garlic. Tomatoes maybe raw on hamburgers; tomato sauce was for the "low-class Italians" on the other side of town.
Broccoli I remember eating in the 1980s, maybe for the first time. It was steamed, with margarine (has its own European association) and salt.
You understand where I come from. Collards thus were so off the radar that I had no idea, seeing them for the first time, what they were. And had no problem avoiding them as I saw them cooked when I moved to the real South -- full of nasty bits of greasy pork fat floating in bitter-smelling, soapy-looking water.
I don't remember why I tried cooking them for the first time -- probably, again, because of the CSA in Carrollton and their heaps of greens mid-winter here. Now, come December? I can't get enough of them. They're cheap (I got six pounds for 50 cents. I kid you not.); they're really good for you; and the way I cook them, they taste incredible.
Here's what you need:
One bunch of collards, de-stemmed, washed, and chopped into about quarter-sized bits. You can get bags of collards at the Publix already chopped up; if you do this, use just one bag.
2 smoked turkey wings (you can substitute any smoked meat. DO NOT use fatback or fat pork or fat yuck -- use meat or a smoked-meat substitute.) NOTE: remember to remove all the packaging. Sometimes I inadvertently skip this step with interesting results.
red pepper flakes
salt
about a 1/4 c sugar
1 c white vinegar
about 5 c water
You'll need a big crock-pot (OOOOooo. A three-holer!). If you have the smaller kind, halve the recipe here.
Put the meat on the bottom of the pot. You might want to take off the skin, but you don't have to debone. I don't do either: I just slap the stuff in there.
Put the collards on top of the meat.
On top of the collards, put a couple of TBSP of red pepper flakes or however much you like. I tend to fill my palm and put that much.
Then dump on about a 1/4 c white sugar. Much as I hate sugar in savory dishes, collards need it. Sorry.
Add some salt, maybe two tsp. Smoked meat has salt as part of the processing, so go lightly and add salt when it's finished and you've tasted it.
Then add the vinegar, and enough water that, when you put your finger just under the first layer of collards you can feel the top. For me, it's about five cups. Might be a little more or less for you, depending.
Cover the crock-pot and set it for four hours. If you want to give it a stir mid-way, you can, but it's not necessary.
You'll smell this when it's done -- it's very fragrant when it finishes. To check for doneness, make sure the leaves have turned dark green and the meat comes loosely off the bones or pulls apart very easily. There should appear to be more water in the pot than when you started.
If your meat has bones (never use anything with small bones unless you want to kill someone -- so thighs, wings, NOT legs, NOT backs or breast with backmeat), this is the time to remove them, and the skin if you don't have a Chuck around to eat it. I use long tongs ("long tongs" sounds so nasty!). Everything will be VERY hot in temperature, so be careful.
I serve this with cornbread to sop up the pot liquor (I'm a damnyankee). Hardly ever are there leftovers.
There you go.
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